After a brief spell of hibernation I decided I should let my friends know that I’m not dead – I am, however, feeling somewhat more bipolar-ised than has been the recent norm. It’s difficult to know whether or when to let people know that things are a bit wobbly. Especially when you’re having an episode which sees your mood fluctuate so quickly between chipper and miserable- you can be frantically waving the white flag one minute and then using it as a tablecloth for a picnic the next. This can confuse people a lot.
I am lucky enough to have lovely friends who say things like ‘can I do anything?’ to which the only answer is ‘Not really, just don’t judge me’ spoken in jest but nonetheless true.
Perhaps it’s time to accept that the lighter load of medication I’ve been getting by on is just not enough. Am I as zombified by trying to keep myself in check all the time as I am by the brain-muffling side effects of mood stabilisers? It could be time to try another experiment.
Before I do that though I am going to see how difficult it is to sleep through a fireworks display. Zzz